
有次在教會,某弟兄跟我們說他放在公司的公用冰箱的飯盒不翼而飛,害他那天要餓著肚子下班。
他說,偷了他的食物也不要緊,他只想取回盒子,不想去買另一個。
真替他感到不值啊! 在現實世界中,真的有人會偷走別人的飯盒嗎?
如果是小孩子的惡作劇還可以理解,但「偷吃」的人是正在工作的成年人哩!
弟兄的這個小分享,讓我想起在姑媽的公司也發生了多次偷吃事件!
原來偷飯盒這回事是很普遍的。(到現在還覺驚訝...)
姑媽說過,她公司的員工們都不喜歡把自己帶來的食物放在冰箱裡留過夜,因為曾經發生過這些事件:
- 某同事的雞飯在冰箱裡待過夜後,飯上的雞塊不見了。
- 某同事把整罐花生醬留在冰箱,想著每天用來塗多士,但似乎不只他一人在用這罐花生醬。
- 有一陣子,公司裡流行自製「薑汁檸檬」飲料,同事們都愛把生薑和檸檬貯在冰箱,但這些材料都曾在一夜之間不翼而飛。以上三件事件都證實了:夜間有人來公司「偷吃」!
是誰在夜間,所有的員工下班後,在辦公室出沒呢?
啊!原來有位負責清潔辦公室的阿姨,每天在公司員工下班後才上班。
那她的嫌疑最大了。
有次姑媽發現她放在冰箱的一盒水餃不見了,便直接問清潔阿姨有沒有見到她的飯盒。
阿姨理所當然地答:「你的水餃發臭了啊!我替你丟掉了!」
囧!!!你們認為這是個合理的解釋嗎?
然後阿姨又說,有時後她發現冰箱的生薑和檸檬變壞了,也會把它們丟棄。-_-
上面提到的三件事可算是真相大白了。
但接下來我要說的這宗案件,卻沒那麼簡單...
前陣子我在忙考試,某天晚上姑媽跟我說這宗最新的辦公室偷吃案,因為案件實在太離奇和有趣的關係,我犧牲了兩小時的溫習時間,跟一位自稱具偵探頭腦的友人(以下稱為
Detective P) 在Skype大談此案。(我承認自己有些時候是有一點點無聊...)
談得興高采烈之際,我在想,這故事可以成為好的網誌題材喔!
隨即把我跟
Detective P那晚在Skype的對話都貯存起,待大考後(今天)在blog「大造文章」!呵呵!
以下是我們的對話:
(為了讓文字更易讀,我要把所有撮寫都修改一下)
我先跟Detective P提一下以前在姑媽公司裡發生過的偷吃事件...
[8:43:02 PM] Justine Lee: So, remember I said last time
that some staffs in my aunt's office stole people's food LOL?
[8:43:21 PM] Detective P: yes?
[8:44:03 PM] Justine
Lee: A staff discovered that half of her chicken rice was gone after keeping it in the fridge for the night. Another time, some other staffs found that the lemon and ginger they stored in the fridge were also gone... at last, the auntie who cleans the office admitted that she threw away the food because they smelled. LOL horrible excuse!
[8:45:47 PM] Detective P: LOL!
[8:46:11 PM] Justine
Lee: but today...
然後,告訴他這宗最新的偷吃案件。
[8:47:37 PM] Justine
Lee: Today, one of aunt's co-works said someone took away his shrimps from his
lunch box during work! (in the day, not over night! so it wasn't
the auntie) at first, this person thought that his wife forgot to give him his
shrimps, so he went home and confronted his wife LOL. But poor wife said she DID put
four shrimps in his lunch box!
[8:47:56 PM] Detective P: HAHAAA
[8:47:58 PM] Detective P: poor wife
[8:48:00 PM] Justine
Lee: for this case... aunt and I came up with 3 possibilities for who
stole the shrimps
[8:48:20 PM] Justine
Lee: listen, detective P, to these possibilities, and tell me which is most likely the case
[8:48:43 PM] Detective P: Okie
[8:48:47 PM] Detective P: sounds fun
[8:48:50 PM] Justine
Lee: i know right
其實這些對話,主要是作個人留念用途,不喜歡的便不要讀。
讓我再詳細描述一下這次事件:
是這樣的。這次姑媽的一位男同事說他放進冰箱的鮮蝦飯盒裡面的蝦不見了!!
在午飯時間,他失望地吃下沒有蝦的飯盒。
他以為是冒失的老婆忘記了把昨天晚飯剩下的蝦放進他的飯盒裡,下班後回家便馬上質問老婆。
但老婆卻非常肯定她沒忘記放鮮蝦!!!
(寫到這兒我真的覺得自己極度無聊 xD 竟在花時間研究別人的蝦飯...)
如果老婆說的是事實,那麼,飯盒內的蝦就是被別人偷了!
此外,這次食物離奇消失是發生在白天,清潔的阿姨還未上班,所以應該不是她做的。
那到底真相是怎麼? 我跟姑媽總括了三個可能性。
那晚,我便考考這位自稱是偵探的友人
Detective P,看他能不能跟我一起為這件案想出合理的解釋。
開審!!!
[8:50:18 PM] Justine
Lee: So this time... it couldn't be auntie for sure
[8:50:50 PM] Detective P: why so sure? She could still take food during the day
[8:52:10 PM] Justine
Lee: because auntie doesn't come to work till 6:30 pm, after all staffs leave
[8:52:14 PM] Justine
Lee: but let me go on...
[8:58:34 PM] Justine
Lee: The 3 possibilities for this case:
1. For someone to steal people's food, he/she must be freaking hungry. not just normal level of hunger. So I suspect that a random stranger who had not eaten for days somehow got
into the office, and took some food out of the staffs' lunch boxes.
> But my aunt said that it's not likely there's stranger breaking in Lol so this possibility just stays here as a joke.
2. A working adult stealing co-workers' food is not quite
possible unless this person has mental disorder Lol. Or maybe he/she sleepwalked, went into the kitchen, took the food, ate
it, went back to work, forgot about what he/she just did.
3. The person who claimed that someone stole his food took his own food. and did not remember himself eating it because he's so
stressed out (due to heavy workload?) Lol
我想到的三個解釋是:
1. 偷蝦的人一定是餓壞了的人。所以我懷疑有個多天沒吃過東西的陌人生,誤打誤撞走進了姑媽的公司,偷走了公司員工放在冰箱的食物。
但姑媽說這是不可能的事,所以這個我當初以為很合理的「解釋」要首先被剔除。
2. 一個有工作的成年人去偷同事的食物這事,我總覺得難以置信。所以,或許偷吃的人有一點點精神問題吧... 又或者,他/她會夢遊!在工作時間睡著了,夢遊走進公司廚房!打開冰箱,隨意拿了同事的蝦飯盒吃掉鮮蝦!睡醒後卻記不得夢遊期間做過的事!!
3. 這是我認為最合理的解釋: 投訴蝦被別人偷走的那位同事,其實自己把蝦吃下了又忘了!可能因為壓力太大吧。在加拿大,「壓力」兩字常被用來解釋很多事情! 例如去看醫生時,如果醫生不太清楚你患的是什麼病,他可能會說「或者你近來承受的壓力太大吧」。這次我也要效法加國人,用「壓力」來解釋這件事。嘿。
然後便是Detective P的回應...
[8:59:58 PM] Detective P: all 3 possibilities end up with someone being crazy
[9:00:23 PM] Detective P: But this is a real world...
[9:00:23 PM] Justine
Lee: Then tell me the REAL possibilities, detective P!
[9:00:34 PM] Detective P: and unlike the dramas or cartoons, or anything made up
[9:00:45 PM] Detective P: it doesn't have to be ONE culprit, it could be more than one person
[9:02:06 PM] Detective P: its more likely for two things to
happen...
[9:02:11 PM] Justine
Lee: yes?
[9:02:11 PM] Detective P: first one is
[9:02:25 PM] Detective P: the day stealing lunch is not related to
the night cases
[9:02:33 PM] Detective P: and the auntie is still the culprit for
the night
[9:02:38 PM] Detective P: but for the day part, someone might have just seen the shrimps
and really wanted it
[9:02:54 PM] Detective P: two... the staff's wife really forgot and just couldn't
tell the truth because husband "confronted" her
[9:03:17 PM] Detective P: she was scared and then lied saying SHE
DID give him the shrimps when she in fact did forget
簡單來說,Detective P認為我是個白癡。
我的三個所謂「合理解釋」對他來說太無稽了,在現實世界中發生這些事的可能性不大。(傷透我的心)
我反問他覺得真相是怎樣,他說可能某同事那天好想好想吃鮮蝦,便拿走別人的蝦; 又或者,被偷去了蝦的那位同事的老婆根本忘記了自己有沒有把蝦放進飯盒,但因老公不滿地「質問」她,她只好說有,但事實是沒有。
接著...Detective P說了句讓我大笑了很久的話...
[9:03:39 PM] Detective P: Actually... it's impossible to not know if shrimps
were placed in the lunch box
[9:04:07 PM] Detective P: because... there should be an empty spot of someone
took it
[9:04:13 PM] Detective P: don't forget... frozen food doesn't move as much... so it should be able to be seen where the
shrimp laid
[9:04:44 PM] Justine
Lee: LOL it's getting scientific here!
[9:04:52 PM] Detective P: LOLOL
他說要知道老婆到底有沒有把解蝦放進飯盒其實不難!
因為蝦躺在白飯上,應該會留下「壓痕」,就像是我們在沙發上坐久了,起來後,沙發上會留下屁股形狀的凹痕一樣!!所以蝦子被拿走了的話,白飯上應該會有幾個凹痕。
xD 雖然不得不讚他的創意,但其實「凹痕」是不一定有的呀!可能蝦子不是直接放在白飯上!而是其他餸菜上!
接下來我要反駁Detective P為案件提出的解釋囉!
[9:06:08 PM] Justine
Lee: but maybe the shrimps were laying on top of some other food not the rice. so they didn't really leave the "marks" Lol.
[9:06:44 PM] Justine
Lee: also... for an adult to take people's food because it looks delicious? that's not too convincing to me Lol
[9:06:59 PM] Detective P: think of it this way, some people don't mind
sharing food with friends
[9:07:42 PM] Detective P: then...why can't there be people who don't mind
eating stranger's food?
[9:08:06 PM] Justine
Lee: I'm not talking about people minding stranger's "saliva", but the act itself is so
wrong LOL
[9:08:20 PM] Detective P: but the saliva is a type of barrier... which is why most people won't eat it
[9:08:31 PM] Detective P: but if that person doesn't care, then the chance of him not caring and eating people's food is quite high
[9:09:00 PM] Detective P: anyways, in TV shows... it's so common to see some assholes taking people's food in offices. So... that could happen in real life
Detective P認為,在現實世界中,有些人是不介意吃陌生人的食物的。
例如有些人不介意跟朋友一同吃同一件食物,這些人也可能不會介意吃陌生人的飯盒。
Detective P說他在電視劇中看過很多辦公室偷吃事件,反映了這些事在現實世界中也常發生。
談了這麼久,我跟Detective P總結了一下我們所說過的可能性...
[9:13:40 PM] Detective P: Let's list the two biggest possibilities again...
[9:14:03 PM] Detective P: 1) some weirdo who doesn't mind people's
germs ate the shrimps that day because he really likes shrimp. 2) the wife actually forgot to put shrimps in husband's lunch box
[9:14:47 PM] Justine
Lee: OK. so you really don't like my "mad people theory" Lol
[9:15:04 PM] Detective P: well, weirdo who ate other people's food is
mad
[9:15:29 PM] Justine
Lee: but not a clinically-diagnosed disorder Lol?
[9:15:43 PM] Detective P: well... it's hard to think that someone will sleep
during work and start sleep walking
[9:16:05 PM] Detective P: but the "stress out" possibility you mentioned doesn't sound as bad
[9:16:37 PM] Justine
Lee: Yea... too stressed out, became forgetful!! This must be it!
[9:16:48 PM] Detective P: but eating food and not remembering
sounds too coincidental...
Detective P認為最合理的兩個可能性是:
1) 某位很愛蝦的人士不介意吃陌生人的東西,在抵受不住「蝦的誘惑」的情況下,把蝦子吃掉。
2) 老婆真的忘記了放蝦
不服氣的我當然要反駁說我當初提到的「壓力理論」 還成立的哩!!
然後,Detective P再說出了一番令我驚嘆的偉論。
他說,這案件還存在一個可能性...
[9:17:01 PM] Detective P: well, here's another possibility...
that guy who lost the shrimps saw the auntie steal food one day, and she begged him not to tell anyone.
She told him a sad story of why she had to take
the food, then, either she bribed him or he felt bad
for her... and did this as a cover story to make people
take their mind off her!
[9:18:22 PM] Justine
Lee: WOW! next level! next level!
[9:18:32 PM] Justine
Lee: now this case involves 2 people Lol
Detective P說,可能,有天此男同事看到清潔的阿姨在偷吃冰箱的食物(i.e.以前不翼而飛的雞飯、水餃、花生醬、薑和檸檬)。然後阿姨跪求男同事不要跟別人說食物是她吃掉的,隨即哭訴自己的艱苦生活,激起了男同事的同情心。
男同事為了不讓其他同事懷疑清潔阿姨,便申報了這宗「白天偷吃」案,讓別人覺得,偷食物的人不是夜晚才來上班的 阿姨,而是另有其人!!
很精彩吧?我好佩服Detective P! ~_~
一起猜案件的真相猜得有點累了,我決定用別的兩條難題來再考Detective P!!!
[9:19:24 PM] Justine
Lee: OK, Detective P. You've completed the first challenge. now I have
a second and third one for you...
[9:19:36 PM] Detective P: ok? LOL
[9:23:11 PM] Justine
Lee: second, what would u think would be an effective (and most economical) way to find out the truth?
I have two proposals:
1) secretly film what happens in the kitchen
but this is expensive. and people might notice the
camera.
2) Bring some food in the office and share it with everybody. put it in the
kitchen and tell everyone that they can feel free to eat it. tell the
"victims" that this is a test and ask them not to take the food. and we will find
out the MOST HUNGRY people and narrow down the number of suspects!
我在替姑媽想想,有沒有好的方法(而且不用太破費的)來找出小偷。
我能夠想出的方法有兩個:
1) 最直接的方法是在辦公室的廚房內安裝攝影機。但這方法不便宜而且攝影機很易被察覺。
2) 我說過會偷別人食物的,必定是餓到不行的人! 我建議用一些零食作為餌,放在廚房跟所有同事一起「分享」,然後找出最「飢餓」的人!
唔...我想的方法都充滿漏洞啦... 難道我一點偵探頭腦也沒有 :'( ?
以下是 Detective P的回應:
[9:25:02 PM] Detective P: for the first method... well, it's not hard, tell the higher ups the situation and hope they'll sponsor a camera.
[9:25:56 PM] Justine
Lee: They probably won't invest in a camera just because of a few disappeared
shrimps...
[9:26:03 PM] Detective P: and the second method... you'll need to do it more than once
[9:26:48 PM] Detective P: its harder to do... the problem is, you don't really know who are
the good guys and who are the bad guys
[9:27:31 PM] Detective P: and this method doesn't necessarily give any results... and the planning for the way to weed out who's
who is complicated
[9:28:12 PM] Justine
Lee: Umm... at least this can provide some food to whoever is very hungry -_-
[9:28:23 PM] Detective P: yea that's about it.
我們都認為我想的兩個方法都很難實行。
首先,公司的上層應不會為了幾隻消失了的鮮蝦而安裝攝影機。
至於用分享零食的方法需要精密的計劃才可能會成功,但至少,分享食物可以為很餓的那位人士充飢... 然後他/她便不需要偷吃了。
最後,我問了 Detective P一個較有建議性的問題:
[9:30:15 PM] Justine
Lee: Last question for you...
[9:30:19 PM] Detective P: OK
[9:30:55 PM] Justine
Lee: If you work in that office, what would you do to ensure that your food won't be stolen (say you must keep it in the fridge)?
[9:31:37 PM] Detective P: I'll say... hide it? LOL
[9:32:39 PM] Detective P: write your name on it. or... use a box that doesn't show what food's
inside
[9:35:28 PM] Justine
Lee: I think I would label my lunch box with some weird food names... like cod's sperm.
[9:35:49 PM] Detective P: HAHA
[9:35:53 PM] Detective P: someone online says... they put "breast milk" on
their drinks
[9:36:05 PM] Justine
Lee: LOL nice. but yea Detective P, thanks for joining us for this case study session.
Goodnight.
[9:36:41 PM] Detective P: OK, I'll let u study!
[9:36:55 PM] Detective P: post what we discussed on your blog too?
[9:37:14 PM] Justine
Lee: I will :)
擔心食物存放在公司冰箱會被偷去的人要注意了!(特別是教會團契那位弟兄 xD)
我問Detective P該怎樣做才可以確保你的飯盒不會被拿走。
他說,不要用透明的飯盒,那麼,食物便不會吸引到別人的目光。
我說,應該貼上古怪的食物標籤,例如是...魚的精子 -_- 應該較少人會想吃吧。
他說,聽聞有些人會在自己的飲料上貼上「人奶」標籤來避免被偷喝。
最後,我不得不回去溫習,結束跟Detective P一起做的「深夜怪談」節目。
然後更答應了他我會把是次對話內容在blog分享,就是我此刻正在做的事。
辦公室「偷食」案審理完畢。
(自娛完畢 : D)
P/S 別人的一個飯盒+數隻蝦,我竟可以借提發揮說了幾小時的故事,說至凌晨二時。
P/S/2 發現自己毫無當偵探的潛質。-_-
P/S/3 如果你可以從開首的一句讀到這裡,我們兩個應該可以做best friends。; )